A8 Building & Maintaining Rapport

Annotations:

• Rapport is a genuine unfeigned’=Genuine; sincere’ interest in someone else. the secret to it is: Don’t try to build it, be it listen accurately to them, try to understand what they’re saying. Be empathetic. If u do then rapport will fall quite naturally.  

1. Building

   Annotations:

   • real interest will outweigh technique every time You can google other ways of building rapport at ur leisure
   1. Mirroring & matching body language
      1. Showing ur client that ur in tune wz them

         Annotations:

         • ex: if client leans fwd in the chair, then a similar posture can be adopted by the coach. If the body language is is animated and excitable, then a similar energy can be displayed by the coach. If the client speaks fast, its helpful to match the pace just to keep the energy going and to maintain that connection.   In other words: Body language is showing ur client that ur in tune with them. In that way thery are aware that ur present with them in the room.  
   2. Matching verbal language
      1. Changin z words may demonstrate a lack-o-understandin

         Annotations:

         • possibly a bit more imp then body lang because clients words are more imp than body in coaching. changing the words may demonstrate a lack of understanding so losing the connection. ex: client: ‘ I lack confidence in mixing in those circles of people’ coach: ‘ so what is it that makes u think u arent good enough to deal with those people?’ client: ‘ woo, hang on a minute. i didnt  say i dont feel good enough!’ Better Q: ‘Tell me what causes that lack of confidence?’
2. Losing

   Annotations:

   • the key to all of these is honesty, open up, make jokes, apologize follow by genuine desire to rectify false situations and build rapport
   1. Fear

      Annotations:

      • client can feel fear if somehow intimidated by u. if they feel u’ve been there before, u’ve seen it, u’ve done it all. coaches don’t actually need to know anything. perhaps the coach doesnt feel in the depth with the client so tries to seem not silly. but that feeling is one step away from ur client’s feeling that ur competent. the client starts to fear superior
      1. Coach doesn't feel in z depth wz z client so tries 2 seem not silly, client starts 2 feel superior
   2. Hidden agenda

      Annotations:

      • ‘from either side’ more appropriate to commercial world. suspicion will be aroused and rapport will be lost. this is much likely to happen in the corporate environment client will feel somehow that the coach is a management spy or rather than being on their side, the client will feel that the coach is there to prove their incompetence. as soon as the coach feel the client suspicious abt a hidden agenda, then its imp to clear it up straight away. because suspicion will poison the coaching relationship
      1. ASA coach feels client suspicious abt a hidden agenda its imp 2 clear't up bcoz suspicion'll poison rapport
   3. Having 2B right

      Annotations:

      • the coach doesn’t have to be right, accept this to become a better coach. if the client begins to suspect that u do know the answer, or if u give the impression that u know the answer, then the client will say: ‘why do u put me through the pain of having to discover it. Just tell me and let’s get on with it. rapport will rapidly decline if the client feels the coach is acting in a superior way when u recognize urself having 2 b right, then pull back. even make jokes abt old habbits die hard at ur most. but whatever u do, be aware or it and stop it at its track. its a killer to rapport.
      1. if u give z impression that u know z answer, z client'll feel coach acting in superior way
   4. Judging
      1. Coachs assuming 2b n a higher moral/intellectual level which in reality is based on their perception of z situation not on objective assessment

         Annotations:

         • when judgement enters in the coaching process, then the coach, is assuming 2 b in a higher moral or intellectual level. which in reality is based on their perception of the situation not on objective assessment. Sometimes u’ll be hearing things, u’ll be observing things, maybe in ur 3rd or 4th session. u must stop ur self. the client will assume an inferior rule. the client will match what u do.
   5. Assumptions
      1. Client doesn’t feel fully listened 2/if they haven’t said it, u can’t deal wz't

         Annotations:

         • will break down rapport since the client doesn’t feel fully listened to - if they haven’t said it, u can’t deal with it. -u’ll always be wrong - stop and get back to full engagement with client
   6. Imposing values
      1. Once u do it, superior & inferior, connection is lost

         Annotations:

         • similar to judgement values of coach is not rule to everyone cant assume that ur values are right to them u developed ur values by time through ur experiences, they have done the same once u do it, superior and inferior, connection is lost we need to respect their values whatever they may be values are values of the individual
   7. Lack-O-Awareness
      1. Aware of why wer feelin wht wer feelin on this occasion/ b fully focused & everythin z client needs

         Annotations:

         • coaching is tiring, upsetting, also can be invigorating,... u should be aware and respond, and give ourselves time at the beginning to focus be aware of others and rapport can be maintained its so easy to allow your attention to be lost aware of: why we r feeling what we r feeling on this occasion be fully focused and everything the client needs